nightwalks 1, depression 0.
So last week I wasn't able to do my weekly IM injection because I forgor to put in a refill request for the syringes and needles I need in order to actually administer the injection. Insurance didn't want to pay for the needles, so there was a hold-up with part of the order. I spent Saturday waiting to hear if they had resolved it, Sunday the pharmacy is closed, and I didn't leave the house at all on Monday1.
Yesterday I could not get myself to leave the house until around 21:00, after my sister had gone to bed. I ended up taking a walk to the corner store. I wasn't the only person on the sidewalk, so I was a bit more hypervigilant than I normally am when I'm walking at night. Made the whole experience a bit unpleasant, but it was nice to get some fresh air after being cooped up for a few days.
Today I almost didn't make it out. It has been over a week since my injection, and I'm convinced some of my inertia is because of my levels dropping off. It's like I'm double depressed.
So I compromised. I let myself take one (1) depression nap after I had been up for a couple of hours, and I went out into a windy, sunny afternoon to do the following:
- go to the post office
- drop off library books
- go to the pharmacy
It took a conversation with the pharmacy tech to resolve the fact that the syringes had been filled but the needles hadn't. That was the part I was dreading. But it was fine2. I only had to wait like five minutes for them to toss the needles in a bottle and slap a label on it.
So I stopped at the corner store to get a celebratory can of coffee, came home, administered my injection, and immediately felt better. Not because of the medication, but because I had done the thing that I had been struggling to do for five entire days.
Time isn't real, man. It's like I blinked and it was just Thursday.
Anyway, writing this post has reminded me that I need to get the rent to my sister's dad. Thanks for listening, B-Blog.